For whatever reason, yesterday saw me feeling like a fat worthless cow for a good part of the day. I don't even really know what triggered it, and some of that's still there today. I just generally feel like shit right now, mentally. I got my hair cut yesterday morning, and I liked it. Maybe I shouldn't have or something, or maybe I don't like it as much as I thought. I don't know. Maybe I should just go dye it. Actually I might do just that. But whatever.
I had the standard fare of nightmares last night, and after dropping Reagan off at work this morning (car juggling, yay, the fucking trucks clutch is gone) (he's working 8-5 today, me 1:30 to 10:30 which is the worst hours ever, because it's so DEAD then but whatever) I realized oh shit! I forgot my taxes. About 300 times. So I did the federal, had no trouble, e-filed it for free, and will theoretically see a $94 return. Maybe. Probably not, though, because I've not seen a return in years, first thanks to the exs student loans that he wouldn't pay back taking them and now thanks to my own student loans taking them. I don't mind if mine take them, I'm hoping that I'll actually be able to start paying those back this year too, now that things in the income department aren't so dire.
But then, it turns out you have to pay an additional $40 for the state tax bullshit with turbo tax.
... sigh.
I don't want to spend that, so I go look up the alabama state tax forms, find a spiffy one from the dept. of revenue that is all nice and automagic and calculates all the stuff for you --- and then I can't print it. Or save it. Or print it as a pdf.
I have three printers. One is out of blue ink, one is out of red ink, and the third one is out of black ink.
The first two can print using only the black ink cartridge. But it wont print because it's out of red/blue.
*sigh*
The other one, well it's out of black but it didn't tell me that until it was 1/3 of the way through the page which came out all red. Sigh.
This became progressively more frustrating. My mom has the same printer as one of mine, so I went next door, borrowed her ink cartridges.... except she's also out of blue. So since I don't have my check card on me today, I go to the bank, get some cash and find that no nearby store has the cartridges that'll fit ANY of my printers.
At this point I'm so mad I'm ready to put my fist through something, so I stare at a pretty bracelet for a bit, try to stop being angry, give up, and come back home, realizing on my way that today is one of those days that I would've been going next door to hang out with my dad, goofing off, having lunch, telling jokes, making each other feel better....
and now I can't stop crying because I just miss my daddy.